finding my way

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Posts by finding my way

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  14

  My mothers wedding

  by finding my way in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  dear jehovah's-witness.net,.

  thanks for letting me vent.

  it's been quite sometime... i've had a baby and been moving around for months because of my husbands job (14 flights since the baby was born) and now that i have time to breathe, i need you again.. my mother and i have been on the rocks for years!

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  finding my way

  Thank you both. I think a few more weeks away from that wedding will ease it quite a bit. Just super mad right now.
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  14

  My mothers wedding

  by finding my way in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  dear jehovah's-witness.net,.

  thanks for letting me vent.

  it's been quite sometime... i've had a baby and been moving around for months because of my husbands job (14 flights since the baby was born) and now that i have time to breathe, i need you again.. my mother and i have been on the rocks for years!

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  finding my way

  Dear Jehovah's-witness.net,

  Thanks for letting me vent. It's been quite sometime... I've had a baby and been moving around for months because of my husbands job (14 flights since the baby was born) and now that I have time to breathe, I need you again.

  My Mother and I have been on the rocks for years! Before my DFing. Shes always been manic and selfcentered. She didnt speak to me for most of my pregnancy but then she came around a bit and I was sure to let her know that I have no desire to be reinstated. I didn't want her to be able to pull that card.. It was very take it or leave it. I stayed with her for over a month not to long ago whil my baby was 2 to 3 months old and aside from one small argument about religion it was a fairly good visit. sort of..she used me as a free babysitter for my 6 year old brother and had me doing all her cleaning and laundry while juggling new mommyhood. I love my brother, but it was hard with a newbaby and a 6 year old. She did treat me like a human though. We went to the mall, went to lunches etc. then....

  I moved to meet up with my husband (hes in a school for work) then flew back a few weeks later to go to her wedding. I knew what to expect for the most part. I did it anyway. Trying to be the better person. When her new husband landed in the state she started her act. She began by blatently not introducing me to my new step sisters and trying to snatch up my baby to happily introduce her. I said "no". She told me one day that she was going to get a picture of My grandmother, Her, myself and the baby outside of the hall before the wedding but not in the hall since I was DF'd. The next day she said she'd have to make sure... then the photographer refused but sent my grandmother out to get my baby so she could get a pic of her. I said "no". The photos are up online now and he ended up taking a photo of us from across the room and cropping me out of the photo. I hadnt been to a hall in over a year. I felt like vermon. It hurt so much to see my Mom and my sweet little brother with this family I wasnt introduced to smiling for photos I wasnt good enough to be in.

  I don't know what I was thinking but the next day I went to her home to grab some things (she was moving to the state her new husband is from) and I brought my husbands mom and Dad for support. They said had it been any colder in there they would have needed a parka.. It was obvious. She wouldnt even bring my brother around to let me say goodbye. I decided to talk to her about my feelings. Big mistake. She turned it to being all about her and how much I hurt her. It ended with her calling me an apostate and a worshipper of Satan and kicking my daughter and I out on the porch with my box of highschool yearbooks and my cabbage patch dolls I dug out of her trash.

  I AM an apostate by their standards. That still feels like the worst possible thing to be called. I hurt so much and I just want to stop feeling this way. I know that I'm a good person, that they are the sick ones, it doesnt make me feel better. I havent been sleeping. grrr it just pisses me off so much. I dont know how to let go of a Mother. I also feel tired of trying to be the better person. I currently do not wish her well and feel like never letting her see her grandaughter. I dont want her to be pulled away from me because grandma convinced her I worship Satan.
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  46

  How long before you stopped believing armageddon was on your doorstep?

  by bubba flavel in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i was born into "the truth" back in 1964. i made the big mistake of getting baptised when i was about 14 or so, purely to please my father as i saw how proud he was when my brothers were baptised....didn't work.. we moved to a new congregation when i was about 8, he introduced all my brothers to the congregation by name, a short bio of thier endearing qualities and how proud he was of them, when he introduced me it was "and this is our black sheep of the family, steve".. i remember living in fear at the fast approaching 1975....actually, living in terror is probably a more apt desciption.

  all of you will full well know how it was instilled into us at every meeting and assembly how we are living in the last days.. as a 15 year old, a brother dobbed me in for kissing a worldly girl at school.

  went through the marked process, judicial committy, disfellowshipped and the shunning which continues to this day by what's left of my family.

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  finding my way

  I'm not sure if I've completely stopped believing in the idea. My world turned upside down when I stopped believing the witness had truth. I'm not sure what to believe in these days. I try to live by good principles and I feel like a better person for it.

  I stopped believing about a year ago and I feel now that if there is an armageddon it doesn't mean I will die from not being a JW. All I can do is be the best person I can be, stop living in fear, love my life and hope for the best if that day does come..

  ~fmw
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  41

  Have you Been Shunned Even Though Just Considered " Inactive " ?

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  many of us here on the board are " inactive" , myself included.

  have not attended meetings or gone out in service for years.

  i haven't now for 6 years + .

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  finding my way

  My Brothers are both inactive and live with their girlfriends and at least one of them smokes pot regularly. Only the one that smokes is shunned by 1 of my 4 sisters. The other 3 and all their husbands still associate with them and have them on their facebooks.

  I on the other hand.. am disfellowshipped and am married, don't do drugs or overdrink am shunned because I've been DF'd. Not that I wish the same upon my brothers but it does bother me that they are "okay" with my brothers and not me just because of a title.

  ~fmw
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  8

  Big Love newest series starts tonight.

  by restrangled in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  are you a fan?

  it starts tonight on hbo, are you going to watch this season?.

  i found the thinking so close to the jws in so many ways.

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  finding my way

  I love this show! I too noticed many similarities before I was even convinced that Jehovah's Witnesses didn't have the truth.

  I can honestly say, this show had part in getting me to think critically. I realized that if these people where so sure in their beliefs, that they thought they had truth and they behaved simililar to Witnesses than maybe witnesses weren't what I thought they were..

  Sadly, we no longer ave the HBO package so I'll have to wait to watch this season :(

  ~fmy
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  44

  Does anyone find it too painful to read the WTS publications?

  by dissed in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  been out 13 years and even for research purposes, i find it way too painful to read this wt stuff.. and why?.

  all the painful memories it brings back.

  don't misread me, it has nothing to do with a guilty conscience.. it has to do with the real pain, the anger of being ripped off and lied too by the wts, the anger of seing how they have protected child molesters, sacrificed its followers by refusing blood transfusions, the treacherous way we and others were treated by the 'unloving brothers'.

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  finding my way

  Yes I find it painful, because I feel instantly frustrated that my family believes this stuff still and allow it to impact their lives (and mine) so negatively.

  I also feel like I can't concentrate on it when I try to read it. My brain wants to wander immediately.

  I do enjoy learning the new scoop on what they are teaching, but find others comments more entertaining that actually reading the whole arcticle.

  ~fmy
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  26

  Hello

  by poopsiecakes in

  1. jw
  2. friends
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  finding my way

  Welcome :0)

  Most of my family doesn't talk to me either, but I've been surprised how my Mother and one of my sisters has such interest in being a part of my life all of a sudden. One of my sisters actually added me on Facebook 2 days ago... and my Mother is talking to me some even though I told her I don't have any plans to be reinstated. Thanks to the recomendation of someone on her, she's agreed, and even excited, to video chat once a week once my baby is born since we live in different states. A few months ago I would have said that was an impossibility with the way she was towards me.

  Just keep being you and be happy. I know that eventually my family will see how much happier I am now than I was back then and make a connection, even if it's subconscious. I feel like maybe that's what happens with some others too. It's just like they say "won without a word". When they realize we aren't all drug addicted prostitutes knashing our teeth, it confuses them and some of them start to actually think about how that's contradictory to what they've been taught. Opens a whole can of worms.

  Read all you can read, but be careful about the information you share with any witness family, it can backfire if not done correctly. It can be depressing thinking about getting family out, so again, I say just take care of you and kill em with kindness if they do contact you.

  ~fmy
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  49

  Ray Franz Views of "Information Control" by WT Society Agree with Hassan

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  having read ray franz's " crisis of conscience " 3 years ago -before i read steve hassan's 2 books on mind control - my wife and i thought it would be good to re-read ray's " crisis " book again now that we know more about the workings of " cult mind control".

  we just finished chapter 2 and i noticed striking similarities i thought i would share.. notice this quote in " crisis of conscience " on pg.

  28 & 29 by franz , " thus numerous factors that are relatively common knowledge in many religious organizations are known only vaguely , if at all, by the vast majority of jehovah's witnesses.

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  finding my way

  Yes
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  61

  My daughter (JW) just called .......

  by mouthy in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  after all these years!!!!

  she is 63 yrs old still a jw.. has shunned me for years.. she lives in montreal me in ontario... .

  last week i got the urge to send her a lovely card just to tell her i love her .

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  finding my way

  Congrats!!! My Mother has also had a bit of a change of heart and she's been e-mailing and texting me again. She told me that her new JW Boyfriend has encouraged her to never forget that she will always be my Mother and she said that she will never "cut me off" as before.

  So I also wonder. if strange things are happening in JW land these days which is motivating them to call us ? ~flipper

  Congrats again. I hope it continues

  ~fmy
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  7

  Secret Lives of Women - Cults / JW

  by Larry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  anyone seen the episode last night re: the ex- jw cult member:.

  http://www.wetv.com/video/?bcpid=23297151001&bctid=34788267001.

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  finding my way

  Watching this for the first time tonight on TV. Happy to see it categorized as a mind control group to the public.

  bump